Imposter Syndrome. Makes my blood boil just saying the name.
Are you where I am/was (that voice still tries to take me out with each new adventure I undertake)?
Do you think you aren't good enough to be seated at the table?
Do you think you have to give away gobs of free stuff to be recognized and appreciated as an artist?
Do you shrink away from calling yourself an artist?
Do you watch and wait and hope someone will notice you and your work?
Let's chat- real, open, honest.
Let's take some time and work through these things together - after all, if I can help you - I can quiet my own demons. It’s funny, I was always that “artsy” kid. I loved to create from a very early age. I can remember in middle school; our task was to create our own books. We would get to write them, illustrate them, and bind them. My heart sang through the entire process. To bring the words to life through visuals and color, something I barely understood, fueled me. I threw myself into it at 1000% (My extreme Type A personality was still developing 😊 Now I work at a minimum of 10,000%) 😂. I can remember my mom looking over my shoulder saying, “You drew that?”. That wonder continued in my classmates as student after student came to me asking me to illustrate their books. In my little middle schooler mind, I knew I was loving the process but didn’t realize I had found my passion.
Fast forward to high school, and you would always find me in the art hallway. I focused on art in college…until I started listening to that little voice in my head that had been calling me out since middle school. You know the voice? That voice that tells you you’re not good enough and that you are an IMPOSTER. That voice took me out for 20 years. I packed my entire creative being away and believed every lie it whipered into my being -----and I died inside.
Fast forward 20 years. It took my kids, and their crayons, to coax “Middle School Lisa” out again. Middle School Lisa colored longer than the kids and loved to shade and highlight within the pages of the coloring books, coaxing the crayons to do her bidding. Those crayons are responsible for waking me up. “Middle School Lisa” is now “Middle-Age Lisa” that stares down imposter syndrome in herself, in her children, and in other artists that she meets. My foundational belief in anything that you are passionate about: If the calling is there, the talent will follow. Believe in yourself!
In the coming weeks we will tackle IMPOSTER SYNDROME together and learn strategies that I have used to quiet the roar. Don’t get me wrong, at the most inopportune moment, it will rear it’s ugly head---but I am now aware of the frequency of that voice and I shift my thinking immediately.
For today – let’s start with simply slowing down and listening to our inner talk.
What is it saying to you?
Is this chatter positive or negative?
Write it all down. Every nuance of a feeling it elicits – acknowledge it and don’t judge- just be aware of your own head space.
To do:
Journal the inner critic. Feeling creative? Splash some color around in your journal - get those crayons out! Juice up those watercolors - just do it. No expectation, just you and the colors listening to your inner voice.
Let’s check back in with each other in a week and see how you did- before we go – I want to tell you-
“You are wonderful. You are creative. You can create whatever makes your heart sing. You don’t need permission. And it, certainly, does not need to be perfect! ”
I have created a list of 50 different ways Imposter Syndrome can manifest - from all apsects of our personalities and responsibilities. You need to see this! I feel like I can resonate with most of them- and when I know what language imposter syndrome is speaking to my heart - I can silence before it gets a hold.
Want to learn more? Please follow the link below!
Imposter syndrome is something I've struggled with off and on for years. It's not as bad as it once was, but it sure does like to pipe up and remind me it's still here every so often. What I really struggle with is the story of telling myself: "I'm not a creative person." I tend to think of creative people as people like you - artists that draw or paint. Really, I am a creative person though because I write blog posts, create podcast episodes, post on social media, etc. - those are all creative outlets. And I love that "middle school Lisa" has come back out to play!
It's so easy to have unrealistic expectations of ourselves & engage in creative self-censorship. While I don't usually identify with the term "imposter syndrome," I have drifted from hobbies and interests because I felt silly for continuing with something I was doing for enjoyment and clearly not because I was skilled at it. But there's nothing wrong with being "bad" at something, if you're enjoying the process! I love this: "You can create whatever makes your heart sing. You don’t need permission. And it, certainly, does not need to be perfect! ”
It's funny you mention that seat at the table. I remember getting invites to meetings and when you arrived, sometimes there was a round table and most times it was a retangular table with chairs on both sides and we attendees would quickly glance around the room and try and figure out just who would NOT get a seat at the table. Me would automatically jump to the conclusion that I would NOT get a seat. Imposter Syndrome at its best.
Ohhh that nasty little devil that pops up on the shoulders of so many creative, innovative, passionate, and successful women (and yeah it does seem mostly women) - including me and many of my pals. Thank you to the crayons that let the real Lisa come back and shine in her creativity and brilliance. It’s vulnerable sharing like this that help so many of us shush that critic and get back to making an impact.
Wow. This is really speaking to me right now in my life as a photographer.